On a cat tree

I used to deliver to a house that contained a lot of cats. It wasn't as bad as you sometimes hear in the news, where some old lady kept a hundred cats in one room and it was filthy with their excrement and food and so on. No, this house with cats seemed well kept up, and the cats seemed well taken care of, but there was certainly more than average. And I could see them because the front of the house had a large picture window, with the drapes usually open when I went during dinner hour. The cats would be draped on a cat tree and just look at me and blink. I guess they didn't care about pizza.

On acme treatment

Get your wonderful acne treatment right here! Be the only boy in your middle school who's got a forehead clear of oily zits. Get all the girls. Remove the dirt and bacteria and scum and sebum and smegma and all the other filthy stuff that's accumulating inside your pores. Wash and scrub it all out with this white cream. Comes in an aluminum tube. If you want to see the smelly, disgusting stuff hiding inside your pores, just watch the gruesome video on YouTube. Yes, and if you could only smell how it reacts in the air - you just know it's crawling with bugs just waiting to infect you.